The Blame Your Boss Method

A Negotiation Tactic to Build Trust

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All other things held equal, would you rather have a business partner who supports you or a business partner who fights against you? As humans, we naturally are partial to other humans that support us over those that seemingly only push own agendas. There a supportive business partner will naturally build more trust than an antagonistic business partner. Today, I will discuss one particular tactic, which I term as the "blame your boss" method that can be used by either negotiating party to build trust in the other party. 

The Blame your boss method: A negotiation tactic where a negotiator claims to not be the final decision maker, regardless if they actually are the final decision maker or not. The blame your boss method is designed to fabricate a trusting relationship with the opposing negotiating party, which results in an outcome that feels positive for both negotiating parties. The method utilizes this positive feeling to serve the interest of the individual implementing it. Note that 'the boss' does not need to actually exist; the boss can be a fictional character we make up as part of executing this tactic. 

As seen in the diagram, in the blame your boss method, you and the opposing negotiator will build trust with one another by blaming your respective bosses. This method is effective in negotiation because it creates the façade that the negotiating parties are allies, both fighting against their bosses. By creating this illusionary alliance, trust is fabricated and a stronger relationship is built, which will lead to better long term negotiations. Note that in the diagram, both negotiators are blaming their boss, but it is possible that only one party utilizes this tactic, which would cause the negotiation result to favor this party. 

To help illustrate, this concept, we will review the blame your boss method as implemented in a car sales negotiation and 3rd party contract negotiation. 

Car Sales Negotiation

In the case of the car salesman, imagine if the buyer asked for a lower price. If the answer is favorable to the buyer, the salesperson can reply directly, "yes we can meet that price." In the event that the answer is not favorable to the buyer, the salesperson should look to deploy the blame your boss method, where the salesperson would say, "Alright, let me try to negotiate with my boss to get to your desired price". Even if the salesperson knows the price cannot be lowered below a certain value, when the salesperson mentions they are negotiating on behalf of the buyer, it makes the salesperson appear to be on the buyers side, both fighting against the salesperson's boss. This appearance alone will build trust with the buyer. 

After pretending to call or actually calling the boss, the salesperson will say, "the boss mentioned we cannot meet your target price, but I was able to reduce the price by X." Notice how the salesperson is pinning the negative aspect on the boss and connecting the positive aspect to herself or himself. This builds further trust with the buyer by making them feel as if the salesperson is in their corner. 

The alternative to the blame your boss method is claiming to be the final decision maker. Imagine if the salesperson said, "I cannot meet that price, but I can reduce the price by X." In this case, the salesperson will not come off as an ally to the buyer, but rather as the opposing negotiating party. 

As mentioned previously, the blame your boss method can be used by either party. After the salesperson comes back with a price, the buyer can say, "I need to convince my family." This will signal to the salesperson that the person they are negotiating with is not the final decision maker. The buyer may come back and say, "my dad could not be convinced with the deal, he mentioned that he needs 10% cashback, is there anyway we can make this happen?" Once again, notice how the buyer is pinning the negative aspects on someone else, the father, and is making the positive requests as a joint statement. This makes the salesperson feel as if the buyer is on their side, working together against the father to make a deal happen and plays to the salesperson's emotions. If the buyer went directly with, "Can I have a 10% cashback?", the conversation would appear to be one side vs. another side and not both parties working together. 

In the short term, due to the illusionary alliance, trust will be higher and both parties will feel better about the outcome of the negotiation. In the long term, the a trusting relationship will be built and the buyer would likely send referrals to the salesperson. 

3rd Party Contract Negotiation

A startup founder and CEO is looking to hire a social media marketing consulting agency.  After the social media marketing consulting agency provides a proposal, the CEO wants to negotiate a lower price. The agency may believe that the CEO is the final decision maker, however, to implement the blame your boss method, the CEO needs to convince them otherwise. The CEO may come back with "I need to check with my CFO, can I get back to you tomorrow?" 

The CEO may not even have a CFO, but she or he needs to at least pretend to take time for this discussion to occur. The next day, the CEO may say, "I want to work with [name of agency], but my CFO mentioned our budget is X. Would we be able to flex the price?" Similar to the car negotiation, the negative aspects are pinned on the fake or real boss/decision maker. Then, the requests are mentioned as a joint effort, bringing the consulting agency in as an ally on a fight against the startup's CFO.

If this particular agency has seen the blame your boss method multiple times, they may come back and say, "Can we explain why our services are worth the investment to your CFO?" The opposing party is looking to meet directly with the decision maker. To counter this request, the CEO has two options, 1) attempt to evade their request and say, "The CFO is crunched this week, but I can relay any messages" or 2) set up the meeting with the CFO and agency, and then continue the blame your boss method by mentioning, "This is a large expense for us. So we need to check with our board of investors, can we get back to you tomorrow?"

Closing Remarks

Negotiation is a social activity humans have created to work with one another. Humans are also naturally inclined to support their allies. The blame your boss method is designed to take advantage of these social norms by fabricating an illusionary alliance. By making the opposing negotiating party our ally, they will feel more socially obliged to work with us towards achieving a common goal. We discussed car sales and contract negotiations, but the blame your boss method can be extrapolated to any negotiation case. If you would like my help in applying the blame your boss method to your personal case, please not hesitate to reach out. 

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