Welcome to The “Morale Mindset” Publication written by me, David Huynh. For those who do not know me, I am a people-focused business professional who seeks to leverage people dynamics to drive results. Thank you for joining me. If you are not on my email list yet and want to dive deeper into the intersection of results and people with me, you may subscribe here:
Several of my executive coaching clients have mentioned, "My team is scared of me." Due to this relationship dynamic, their team members withhold information, sometimes even avoiding meetings, because they are scared of their boss. When their team members do meet, they feel the need to over prepare for the meetings, which is an inefficient use of their time. Therefore, my clients have asked me, "why am I viewed as scary or unapproachable?"
An approachable manager creates a collaborative environment where the team members are eager to share ideas and present potential solutions. Developing this environment is critical to increasing a team's bus factor, affecting the quantity, quality, and sustainability of the output. A team's perception of their manager's approachability depends on the team's experiences communicating with the manager, which include the manager's responses to the team's ideas and the manager's portrayal of their own ideas. Today, we will begin our series covering Becoming More Approachable, starting by analyzing when a manager responds with "Why."
The Response "Why."
Continuing on with the story of my executive coaching clients, their team members will normally approach them with an idea. The executives perceive these ideas to be dumb or irrational, and then instantly respond with "Why." The individual on the receiving end of "Why.", then needs to defend their position. After this happens time after time, the team members may start to feel discourage from sharing their ideas. Even though it was not stated directly, the team members now believe that their boss thinks poorly of them.
Why is questioning the thought process or the reason behind the idea. While questioning someone's thought process is totally valid, when "Why." is said abruptly, or perhaps in a harsh tone, without additional context, it can come off as aggressive or confrontational. The period "." was included included after "Why" to exemplify this abrupt and harsh tone. "Why." shifts a potential collaborative dynamic to one where the two parties are competing against one another. In the following section, we will discuss alternatives to "Why." that make the conversation more collaborative, and ultimately, make the manager more approachable.
Alternatives to "Why."
As mentioned earlier, we ask 'why' because we want to understand their reasoning. Alternatively phrased, our goal is to get them to explain their thought process. So when we hear a questionable idea or an idea that we do not fully understand, instead of replying "Why.", here are a few other ways we can ask our team members to explain their ideas:
How did we arrive at this idea?
Can I get further clarification on [the idea]?
Can you help me understand the reasoning?
I'm not quite sure that I understand the logic behind [the idea]. *Pause*
While responding, instead of a harsh and abrupt tone, these clarification questions should be presented in a calm demeanor and regular pace. All of these responses will invite the team member to speak more about their idea, while at the same time creating a nurturing and collaborative environment.
Closing Remarks
As managers, we need to be more approachable so that our team members are comfortable sharing their ideas with us. A team will be capable of solving more problems with better solutions if multiple ideas can be shared in a collaborative environment. We should not confront our team's ideas with a harsh "Why.", but rather, calmly ask our team for further explanation.
Also, in case you missed it, The Morale Mindset Podcast, which has 10 minute episodes that discuss leveraging people dynamics to drive results, is now live on Spotify, Apple, and Google!
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