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I remember when I was informing the senior partner at my consulting of my plans to leave. I recall explicitly saying, "I am thinking about joining an ecommerce company next." The senior partner could sense that I was not sure what I wanted and then proceeded to give a lecture about why I should stay in consulting and asked that I speak with another partner at the firm. Since my story was not clear, and since my manager wanted to retain headcount, my manager tried to convince me to stay. These additional conversations were quite painful and meaningless to be honest, because I have already made up my mind that I am leaving.
When I was an ecommerce manager, I dealt with multiple on people on my team filing to leave. When people were leaving my team, I always asked, "What are your long term goals?" Then depending on the position they were going to next, I would give my honest opinion. If the next position would be better suited to help them reach their goals, I would congratulate them and wish them the best of luck. However, if it appeared to me that they did not think their goals out very clearly or if the next potential position would not be more beneficial in helping reaching their goals, I would give my perspective and ask them to think about their goals before making a decision.
After having several of these exit conversations, I became more prepared for my own future exit conversations. Specifically, I know my exit story needs to be coupled with an overarching goal. When we couple our exit story with an overarching goal, and the decision makes sound logical sense, a manager that has our best interests in mind will wish us the best of luck as opposed to belaboring the process.
Leaving a company can carry a lot of weight. Perhaps we absolutely despise our current job, have found a more preferable job elsewhere, or have our own reasons for exiting the organization. We often want to retain cordial relations with our current employer, boss, and teammates. The process of telling people you are leaving can be quite painful if done incorrectly, so today, let's dive into how to gracefully leave a company while optimizing for our goals. Depending on our goal, the story that we tell to each individuals will be different. Maintaining positive relations with our boss, team, and business partners is the simpler of the goals, as it solely involves cordial communications, explaining our exit story, which should entail how our next step better fits our overarching goal.
Gracefully leaving a company requires initiative on our end for the following steps: "Check-In" Meeting, Formal Notice, and Informal Chats. Everything else involved with leaving a company (e.g., exit interviews, paperwork) fall on the protocols of the company. Let's dive deeper into the steps that require our initiative.
"Check-In" Meeting
The "Check-In" meeting is the meeting between us and our immediate manager/boss. We are calling it a "Check-In" meeting, because the title of the calendar invite should be inconspicuous, such that no additional questions are asked before the actual meeting. The opening statement of this meeting should outline our overall goals, so that our manager has an anchor point. Then we need to first introduce the idea of leaving the company. When thinking about the phrasing for this statement, we should consider if a specific change in projects, teams, location, or salary effect our decision? If there is a possibility that we would stay, the opening statement in our story should reflect "I am thinking about leaving", which leaves room for negotiation. However, if our mind is made up and there is no possibility that we would stay, the opening statement should be changed to "I am leaving", which does not leave room for negotiation. In both cases, the reason we are leaving is to accomplish our overall goal.
After we state that we are leaving, the two most common questions to follow are "Why are you leaving" and "Where are you going". Our story should mention our overarching goals, logic for next step, where we are going (optional), any positive commentary on the current organization, and conclude by thanking them for the opportunity. Negative commentary (e.g., unhappy with pay, manager, company) should only be given if we are interested in helping the organization improve after we depart.
If our manager has our best interests in mind, they should give their honest opinion, which hopefully involves wishing us the best. If our manager has the company's best interests in mind, they will try to convince us to stay. At which point, we need to point back to the logic to why our next step will better equip us to achieve our overarching goal.
If you are having trouble thinking about this overarching goal and connecting the dots together, feel free to email me at david@moralemindset.com and we can chat about your career aspirations and/or frustrations.
Formal Notice
After the "Check-In" meeting, we should send a written notice, typically via email, to formalize our decision. Our manager should have mentioned who to include on this email, but typically it will include our manager and someone from human resources at a minimum. The formal notice should include our last date at the company. To select the last date, having a notice period that is equal to the value on the contract is sufficient for maintaining good relations. The legality and advisability of having a notice period that is shorter than the duration mentioned on the contract varies by country, so I will not directly comment here.
Here's a quick and dirty template for reference:
Hello [Company],
I want to thank you for the opportunity to work here. I am formally resigning. My last working day will be [Date].
Regards,
[Name]
Here's a slightly longer and brighter template for reference:
Hello [Boss], [HR],
These past [number of years] years at [Company] have been amazing. I have learned so much from all of the great people here. So it saddens me to say that I will be resigning as of [Date]. Please let me know what other steps are involved in the exit process. I want to make the transition as smooth as possible for [Company].
Best Regards,
[Name]
Of course feel free to add more flowery language or adjust the tone of either template as desired.
Informal Chats
After our formal notice, we can further improve our relationships by having informal chats with all individuals that are meaningful to us, which may include our manager, our teammates, and/or external business partners. During these conversations, we can explain our genuine thought process and our appreciation for them as individuals. If they are very close, we can even consider giving them a small gift.
For individuals that we are only loosely acquainted with, we should send an email with all relevant individuals on bcc that states our intention to leave along with any contact information that we would like to share (e.g., personal email, LinkedIn). For relationships that are more valuable than a mass email, but not valuable enough for an actual meeting or call, I would recommend sending individual emails.
After the one-on-one informal chats, if we are so inclined, a going away event or party of sorts could put a nice bow on our overall experience. Some companies may have going away parties included in the budget; otherwise, we may need to find alternative means of financing.
Closing Remarks
Leaving a company may involve many uncomfortable conversations. I am not saying that you should quit your company now. But if you were to quit, here's how you can quit gracefully. We have a "Check-In" meeting that our goals and next steps with our manager, omitting any discussion of the current company. Next, we send formal notice to the company. Lastly, we need to have informal chats with everyone meaningful to us to build on our relationships.
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